Islam And Social Manners

Islam And Social Manners

S. M. Moin Qureshi

Islam not only revised the pedestal of man’s spiritual life, but paid equal importance to ordinary rules and social etiquettes aimed at worldly refinement. These were introduced at a time when the world was plunged into the gloom of total savagery.

 

From handshaking to home-calling, from sneezing to laughing, from walking to lying, there is no conceivable movement for which Islam does not provide guidance to its followers. The fundamental idea behind these teachings is two-fold viz. (I) to honour one’s privacy, and (II) to promote fraternity among brethren. Thus we find rules for meeting some one.

 

Once a Companion wanted to meet Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) while he was in a lonely valley. The Companion narrated, “I went to him and did neither salute, nor seek permission”. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Go back and say peace be on you. May I enter?” This was a way of teaching  manners to a newcomer. The Messenger of God did not forget observance of formality in a decent society. A man once asked him whether he should seek permission to see his parents. The Prophet (ﷺ) replied in the affirmative. In this regard, the Qur’an stipulates the following procedure which ensures privacy without exclusiveness and friendliness without undue familiarity:

“O you who believe, do not enter other houses except yours without first asking permission and saluting the inmates … if you find that no one is in, and then do not enter unless you have received permission. If you are asked to go away turn back. That is proper for you…” (An-Noor: 27, 28)

 

Salam, the Islamic way of salutation is unique. It means peace and conveys the message to the other person. “Be sure that your life, property and honour are safe in my hand”. The reply also signifies the same feelings. Salam, therefore, creates mutual sense of security and peace at the very first encounter. The Holy Prophet (ﷺ) advised the believers, “Salute all whom you know and whom you know not”. He made it clear that juniors shall salute the seniors, one passing to one sitting, one riding to one walking and small group to the bigger group. He also maintained that the best man was he who first greeted with a Salam. The motive is to remove the least sign of vanity in man. The Qur’an ordains: “When a (courteous) greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy…” (An-Nisa: 86)

 

The two-way assurance of peace and security is followed by handshaking which further strengthens the bonds of love. Islamic shake-hand comprises holding both hands of a man by both hands of the other man. The Prophet (ﷺ) underlined, “…perfect way of greeting among you is shaking hands”. A step ahead of handshaking is embracing and kissing which usually take place after return from journey or at the time of proceeding on a journey. These rules of meeting and greeting, however, apply only to the persons of the same sex^__ males or females.

 

Show Of Respect:

Standing to show respect to a person who deserves respect on account of his age, erudition, benevolent works, etc, is permissible in Islam provided that it does not inculcate sense of pride in the mind of the person so respected. Every one shall dislike that others should stand in his honour as the Holy Prophet (ﷺ) disliked it for himself. As regards sitting manners, taking seat in the midst of an assembly for a late comer is disallowed for the sake of decorum. The Prophet (ﷺ) cursed such a person. Sitting partly in sun and partly in shade has been prohibited for health reasons. The Prophet (ﷺ) exhorted, “When one of you is in the shade and then the shade goes away from him exposing some portion of his in the sun and some portion of his in shade, let him get up”.

 

The rules for walking require that the gait should be humble and moderate. The Qur’an enjoins, “…do not walk with hauteur on earth…” (Luqman: 18). While lying, one should desist from lying upon belly (on the ground of hygiene), upon back raising up one leg upon another (as it creates an impression of vanity) and upon the uncovered roof of a house (from security point of view). When the Holy Prophet (ﷺ) rested at night, he used to lie on his right side and when he had a sleep a little before morning; he used to fix his elbow on the ground and place his head upon his palm.

 

Paramount Virtue:

The Paramount virtue of Islam as a world religion is that it has laid greater stress on morality. It teaches its follower to cultivate civility, mannerism, social ethics, gentleness, self-purification and wishing well for others. In presence of this guidance, the believers mould their lives in accordance with the teachings of the religion and shun what is forbidden by it. Strange though it might appear, Islam, covering the whole gamut of human activity, even laid down rules for yawning, sneezing and laughing.

 

Islam lays great stress on control of tongue which carries the message of heart. The Qur’an asserts “keep your voice low….” (Luqman: 19) at another place it holds, “speak of goodness to men…” Al-Baqarah:83) this not only means outward courtesy from the “highest” to the “lowest” among the people, but the protection of people from being exploited, deceived, defrauded, or doped with things to full their intelligence. Evils springing from misuse and abuse of tongue include quarrels, rumour-mongering, indecent rebukes, immoral songs, sorcery, false promise, false oath, vain talks, hypocrisy, backbiting, flattery, wrong counsels, disputes and dissension, etc.

If vice is feared from the tongue, the best course is silence, for silence has been treated as the better part of valour. The Messenger of Allah said, “Whoever adopts silence, will get salvation”.

 

 The Prophet of Islam (ﷺ) who has been regarded in the Holy Qur’an as “a beautiful pattern (of conduct) for any one whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day” (Al-Ahzab: 21) rose in the darkest spot and took up the mission of reformation of an uncultured society single-handedly. Gradually and steadily, however he gained numerous friends and supporters whose devotion is proverbial. Hence, within a marvelously short period of just twenty-three years, he founded a nation which eventually proved to be the torch-bearer of culture and civilization.